When there's a wedding, why does everyone expect an invitation?

Let me backtrack the story...


I went to school with a gal, our mom's worked together. We were never really friends, but we always said hi to each other. The last time I saw her face to face was 2 summers ago. She's a very hot and cold person, and our personalities just don't match up.





I was online yesterday on Yahoo messenger, and I received a message from her. She *never* messages me. It wasn't a hello or asking how I was doing. It was, "Why ain't I invited to the wedding?"





My mouth hit the desk.





I explained that it's close friends and family only. She went on to say that our mothers worked together, and we're friends, so...and I quote..."We ain't friends? We ain't invited?"





I said, "No, sorry. We're on a budget."





"Well I'm on a budget, too, and you ain't invited to my baby shower."





"No problem," I said to her, "Have a great afternoon!" and left it at that.





Why do aquaintances come out of the closet demanding invitations?





LOL It boggles me.|||Going through the same thing right now.... my fiance's stepfather's family who he never sees or has any interested in them... is demanding to go to our wedding. I gave in because I had a couple cancellations and I didn't want to out my fiance's mom through the ringer...


I think it's a mix of self importance and entitlement. Also those type of people never give you crap!! Hey, not that a wedding is about gifts but you gotta love when someone like that insist on going brings someone and gives you $25 while you paid $200 for their dinner. I am at the point in my life where I DON'T want to be invited to acquaintance weddings... it's so freaken expensive and I feel guilty if I don't give at least $200 as a gift.





Wow, you can't go to the shower and buy her crap.... she really showed you!!! LOL|||There's an easy solution to this problem. Several, actually.





1. Only tell the people you're inviting about the wedding, AND, only invite a small number of people.





2. Have the wedding very far away from the majority of the people who would expect to be invited. That way, it's not worth their trouble to come.





3. Don't invite anybody. Just elope. My cousin and her husband did that - they got married on the beach in Costa Rica and just sent us the pictures afterwards!|||i totally agree with you, maybe they just want to feel important or something. or maybe they want to feel like they have friends.....idk.|||If you don't have a close relation with her, just put her out of your mind. As far as people expecting invites, that is not really true. The only people that would expect an invite are family members and your closest friend.|||Weddings bring out the best and worst in everyone.





Let the moms deal with it.|||Sometimes when people know you they want to be included in EVERY aspect of your life. I am going through the same thing with my former high school friend. I bumped into her at the store and she saw my ring asked about the wedding. So I told when we getting married and all the details, when we were saying goodbye she said, "I am expecting an invite"!!





You handled the situation very well.





Best Wishes|||This time the expectation was unreasonable - I agree. But an invitation shows that you care - that's why perhaps people expect to get called.|||I think she was just a wee bit out of line. Heck...I would have put her on ignore have that little tantrum! Go about your wedding as planned and don't worry about her.|||I don't think that EVERYONE expects an invitation. I think this particular person and you have very different ideas concerning the depth of your friendship.





You handled it well.





Godspeed.|||I think that people just presume that as an acquaintance and because perhaps your mothers are friendly that they will get an invite. You handled it beautifully and did not sink to her level of bitchiness, well done you, and now don't worry about it, we all have budgets to stick to, don't blow yours on a load of people that you can't even call "friend"|||america traditional put theres in the paper and a few invitions for the outof towners but spanish you have to give every family or house hold a invition or they will think they arent invitied even if they are in the wedding|||lmao....i am glad you put her in your place and to think she compared your wedding with her baby shower!|||How about just telling her she ain't invited cuz she ain't got none of them good manners and doesn't talk good grammer.|||Oh man, what an awesome exchange of words. You must have been cracking up. Especially at the grammar!





Have a great wedding!!!|||I can understand your confusion ... it seems like family and friends come out of the wood-work once something like a marriage is announced. The only thing I can think of is she doesn't want to feel left out. If I was her I wouldn't have been as blunt when asking you about it, but I'm sure that is what she was feeling. Since you are on a budget, don't feel obligated to invite her ... you explained yourself perfectly. Unfortunately it seems like she is still not mature enough to handle certain situations and that is why she responded the way she did. I'm sure she will get over it ...|||there is always someone trying to bring you down dont let her enjoy in the excitement of planning a wedding and good luck|||yeah, um i don't get it either!!! i am getting married in september and everyone does think they are invited!!! i say the same thing cause it's true, we are on a budget. we already are over 200 guests and need to cut down from that!!! i am trying not to invite family i haven't spoke to in like 5 years or more, and hopefully the ones who ar way out of town won't come!!! i know it sounds bad, but it's hard to try and pick and choose. it's not fair~!!!|||Although it certainly is rude of her to be fishing for an invitation, you should never respond with any reason that has to do with money or budgets.





It's best to simply say "Well, it's going to be a very small wedding. We wish we could have included everyone we know but it just wasn't possible. It's thoughtful of you to be concerned about our wedding planning, and be interested in us."





If she keeps pressing for details, like exact number of people invited, just keep repeating portions of the above. Give no further details.